TW: Diet culture and weight loss
I hope you're really good and have tea or an iced coffee if you're so inclined. I am writing this to you in direct sunlight which as you know is not my preferred state. I'm very hot but I do have had toast with cottage cheese, peach and honey which is one of my favourite things so it's not all bad.
I am someone who spent years living in diet culture. My teens and 20s were all about Weight Watchers, Atkins and of course, The Special K diet. All had one goal, weight loss and try to look like Cat Deeley. Food was something to be controlled and my body was something to be conned. It didn’t matter what I liked to eat, it mattered what would help me lose weight. Being smaller was the only thing that mattered. I spent years worrying about my weight and it left me miserable and stuck.
When I realised how boring it was to be miserable and stuck and I finally started to wrangle myself free from dieting, it occurred to me that I’d never really learnt what I liked to eat. I went on a voyage of discovery and realised how much I loved capers and pickles and feta, things which had never really been on my radar because they weren’t considered relevant by any of the diets I’d been on. I realised I loved anything sour or salty which was a revelation because I thought I loved all the sweet stuff which was demonised by dieting.
In the past whenever I ordered a cocktail I would scan the menu for the sweetest thing I could find. Your mojitos and daiquiris, your Malibu and piña coladas. There's nothing wrong with these drinks of course but the thing was I didn't actually *like* them. But there was no point discovering the thing I liked because diet culture told me I probably shouldn't be having cocktails anyway so had already zapped any pleasure. I remember the first time I sipped a Pisco Sour and it was like coming home. I realised my whole life I'd been drinking things I hated because I just didn't know what I liked.
Knowing what works best for me has placed me back in control. I can make decisions based on what serves me, what makes me feel good, not something external which has told me what’s best for me. Learning and knowing what I like to eat and how food works best for me has been one of the biggest and enlightening exercises of my life. It's been exciting and joyful and it continues to be so. So I'm off to finish the cottage cheese and maybe find a Pisco Sour.
Praise be to the algorithm!! Your post about mum friends popped up in my Substack and I read it and thought, oh hello…
Next up, your post on Pisco Sours and guess what I love… 💖 🥰
Well, better said, I once attended a fancy celebration thingy where Pisco Sours were the official drink. I drank so many of them that I have never had actually had one since BUT your post reminded of a glorious Pisco Party and just how good they taste… 😋