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Catherine The Middle Aged's avatar

Sarah I want to hug you! 🤗💖 I'm a 70s baby but the 80s and 90s were pivotal for us all around our age!

Compassion can feel foreign. We give it freely to those we love but to ourselves... that's different. There's a nagging whisper telling us we don't deserve it. But WE DO. We really and truly do. In any and every way we can think of. It took chronic illness for me to learn that (the hard way naturally!) but don't wait my darling. Self compassion really is golden. It's love in action. 💖

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Wendy Penny's avatar

What a gorgeous comment xx

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Catherine The Middle Aged's avatar

Thank you Wendy! 💖 It's from the heart 🫶

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Fran F | GLP-1s & Mounjaro's avatar

I felt the same. I took the plunge with Mounjaro and it's changed my life. My life is so much lighter now, both physically, emotionally and spiritually. The weight loss medication plus comfort and grace and compassion for my past self and current self, working in tandem with the glp-1.

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AV's avatar

All of this a 100 percent. Comfort, grace, compassion for my younger self who struggled with body image and weight loss fads and self-loathing. Coupled with mounjaro, and I feel like a completely new person.

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Mikala Jamison's avatar

Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability here. You write about doing something I think is incredibly important -- you're asking why you want the things you want. Doing that is the only way any meaningful change happens, and it'll help guide you in terms of what you do next.

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Raymond Wold's avatar

Hi Sarah,

Thank you for the honest post, I love it! I don’t think people talk about their issues or insecurities enough.

Not that you asked, and I can remove if you aren’t looking for advice, but here it is haha:

I’m a spreadsheet guy who climbs a stair-stepper at 5:30 AM, and the pattern I see - in finance and fat loss - is this: tiny, repeatable systems beat heroic sprints every time. My nature is to go big or go home, but I’ve realized that mentality isn’t sustainable.

My 3 non-negotiables:

• 500 calories of zone-2 cardio in the AM (brisk walk or stair stepper), fasted if possible. I find that if I get it out of the way in the morning, my entire day is better and I don’t have this lingering obligation for the evening.

• Feed future-me first: protein heavy smoothie at dawn (post workout) + protein-heavy lunch (followed by 10-minute walk). When those boxes are ticked, night cravings vanish. Junk also stays out of the house - if I want a frozen pizza, I’ll go buy one.

• 1-3 mile evening walk, after dinner. 5-15 minutes after eating and I am out the door, this aids in digestion but also gets me outside and moving. Easier said than done in Minnesota but we make it work.

Helpful Notes:

• Fasted cardio burns fat as an energy source if you are in zone-2 cardio. https://www.calculatorsoup.com/calculators/health/target-heart-rate-zone-calculator.php

• Eating before working out will burn that food as energy before attacking fat.

• The stair stepper is a calorie burning machine; regulate your heart rate and you’ll be able to burn 500 calories in about 1 hour, maybe 45 minutes depending on body composition.

• Science is saying calories count more on a week to week basis rather than day to day, which can help with consistency, and not beating yourself up over slip-ups.

• The 80/20 rule. Aim for perfect health, but settle for 80%, the goal is to be better each and every day. Hit cardio and protein goals most days and watch results snowball.

• One helpful calorie/protein hack is this: 10:1 Calorie to Protein ratio, if you can sustain that, it is nearly impossible to overeat. Again, 80/20 and you’ll be golden.

• Test one habit so easy it feels silly, then layer another once it’s autopilot. Momentum > motivation. (Atomic Habits - James Clear! - Habit Stacking rocks 👍)

Cheering you on from Minnesota!

– Raymond

My context: no kids, low external stress - adapt as needed.

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HannHearts's avatar

I completely hear this!! I feel like so much of my desire to diet and exercise over the years has been because of dislike of myself and my body - and it's never worked because ultimately I don't feel like I'm worth looking after. I want my goal now to be eating well and working out because I am worth caring about and I want to live a long and healthy life - but I'm not there yet. This has encourages me to try again though! 🩷

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Jill Lahnstein's avatar

I have lost 110 pounds over the past 2.5 years by dialing out of extreme voices in diet culture and anti-diet culture. My body is mine. Your body is yours. Good luck!

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Jenna's avatar

Here’s what I’d tell a friend: I cannot recommend a glp-1 more. There’s so much research that diets don’t work for most people. But we blame ourselves. One way to think about it is: do I have capacity for a part time job losing weight? If not, there’s literally a miracle drug out there.

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Lucy Patterson's avatar

At 49, I've been on a similar journey to you - I imagine most women born in the 70/80s have. (You expressed it so eloquently, I just wanted to thank you for that.) I've done the work, I've dealt with the patriarchal bull 💩 and I'm losing it my way now - for mental health and longevity. It's an energetic change that I can't explain. Maybe it's just an age thing? Maybe it's because I'm (finally) putting myself first? Maybe it's because I dont tolerate the toxicity of others anymore? Maybe it's mounjaro? (Maybe it's freakin' Maybelline?!) I wish this for you too. 🫶

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Mindful Mama Musing's avatar

Great article 👍

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Kerry Pulleyn's avatar

I’ve felt and experienced everything you mention. I’m older than you 62 so have an extra 20 years of self-loathing to draw on. Six months ago, I tried the free trial of Slimpod and my relationship with food has changed drastically. I’ve lost a little weight but have lost the self hatred you describe and for the first time ever, I’ e maintained my weight without dieting. Try it. It’s cheap if you continue and you have about 40 days to experiment with it (there’s a money back promise). It’s changed my life. Just do you know, I don’t work for them or profit from it in any way. Good luck!

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CJ | A Well-Read Tart's avatar

I've always struggled with my weight and have gone up and down over the years. I haven't tried strict diets since I know they don't work for me, and I've figured out over time that carbs and dairy are my danger zones, as well as emotional eating and portion control. If I can manage all those, my weight stays pretty much in check. However, it's not nearly as easy as it used to be to lose weight. And it's so unfair and frustrating. But I am trying because, without bringing anyone else into the picture, I am happier when I'm thinner. When I'm at my ideal weight, I feel better, stronger, more confident, healthier, leaner, fitter, and just overall more contented with myself, with how I feel in my clothes, and with how I look in the mirror. I'm miserable when I'm heavier, and it's not because anyone is making me feel bad about myself (thankfully). That's my body positivity -- being thin. So, if you want to lose weight in order to feel positive about yourself and to feel like you're living your best and healthiest life, you go for it! It's a great idea. I wish you luck. I know how hard it can be to get to where you want to, and then to stay there.

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Wendy Penny's avatar

I wish you luck babes xx

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Sarah Chambers's avatar

Hi Sarah (from another Sarah!) :0) I also grew up in the 90s / 00s when size 0 and thigh gap mania was at its height, plus I got continuously bullied at school for being fat when I was younger, so I 100% get where you're coming from! I'm 46 now, so very slightly ahead of you, and I've recently re-trained as a PT, which has been eye opening in terms of what we should be focussing on now. Rather than losing weight, we're shifting the focus to getting strong as f*@k and building up our bad-ass old lady bodies, while nourishing ourselves with well balanced, real food and still enjoying carbs/pasta/cheese/wine etc... in moderation! I'd love to have a chat with you about my programme if you're up for it? It's all at-home workouts (bodyweight only first, then dumbbells), all around 30 minutes, and I have a wonderful group of clients currently going through it who are feeling the benefits of focussing on building muscle, rather than purely losing weight. My Insta handle is Fit4Fun_PT if you fancy getting in touch! x

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Discovering Your Future Self's avatar

Highly recommend looking into Gin Stephen’s book Delay Don’t Deny about intermittent fasting, as well as her podcast and the Zoë podcast. Also see recent podcast about losing weight while breastfeeding if that’s where you’re at x

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Loretta's avatar

I hear you about the ‘90s ‘thin is in’ culture. Some of those magazine covers are still burned into my brain. They weren’t just mean. In some cases, they were fatally toxic. Most women who were teen plus in the nineties probably have internalised a lot of messaging about value being linked to body size. It’s not something that can be easily unpicked from our brains, unfortunately.

Good luck with your weight loss journey. I hope you get the results that you want, but go easy on yourself and focus on the health side of things :)

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NicH's avatar

Honest, balanced, thoughtful. Great post Sarah. Losing weight is such a personal goal but it is an acceptable one. You're allowed for want to be the best version of yourself and running about with 3 kids under 3 is exhausting! Right now you're in this phase of survival but soon enough you'll be in thrive mode again and life will start to feel much lighter. Keep doing what you're doing because you're doing great ❤️

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